ALS Scan
Your Pages Recently Viewed
Your Content Recently Viewed

afguy44 Comments

  • 0

Thanks

  • 2

When is that coming out?

  • 2

Yeah that was the only thing I was really hoping for also :-(

  • 0

Elle Alexandra. Bring it.

  • 2

Jesus fuck could people stop complaining about boy-girl videos and pictures?
Don't like it? DON'T WATCH IT.

  • 1

Video please!

  • 1

Awesome! Needs a video though

  • 2

When is that coming out?

  • 2

Yeah that was the only thing I was really hoping for also :-(

  • 2

Jesus fuck could people stop complaining about boy-girl videos and pictures?
Don't like it? DON'T WATCH IT.

  • 1

Video please!

  • 1

Awesome! Needs a video though

  • 0

Thanks

  • 0

Elle Alexandra. Bring it.

  • 1

15 October 2014

  • 1

Yeah, what’s with all the perpetual cyber blue-balling anyway?!! They get us all buttered up like that and then, “Meh. See ya.” You know that hurts more than the real thing! Well, this time I decided I’d had enough. Instead of disgorging a bunch of gratuitous and ineffective babble, my plan was to hotfoot it down a more tangible path and actually do something about it. Turns out, with a little simple research, one can easily slide a few tricks up one’s sleeve that will turn the tables of persuasion in his or her direction. Yeah, that searing little book worm of theirs can’t think for a moment that she has the ability to corner the market on discovery. She’s not the only one capable of experiencing the occasional half-naked literary mind-fuck just by flipping through a few pages (well, I sort of only used the internet because I understand most studies have proven it to be far more effective).

That being said, I’m excited to announce with the expectation of achieving a full consensus, that it’s high-time for a follow up photo shoot of our shining new bibliophile! Yes, that’s right, only this time with her carefully chosen assistant, Chloe Foster to tag along. And if everything goes as planned, this other blonde mini-bombshell will be eagerly clutching a steadfast Dixie cup ready to answer that every last ureal beck and call. At least… that's what I'm hoping will happen after I light the ceremonial candles and commence with the carefully chosen combination of cryptic chanting.

At this point, I realize the naysayers are about to go ape-shit over my trust in this apparent high jinks, but let me assure you I’ve done my homework. And to prove it, after I briefly considered perusing that section covering the incorporation of some sort of live animal in the ceremony, I instinctively halted. I recognized when my inquiry into the ways of the mystics had come to an abrupt end. I’ve just had too many close brushes over the course of my life, I’ve learned my lessons and I like to think that I’ve grown from them. After foolishly taking for granted the overrated calm predictability of various forms of domestic fauna, it’s probably best I didn’t take any more chances. You just wouldn’t believe things could go so wrong, so easily. Besides, I just don’t think I could successfully backpedal out of any more far-fetched, but totally legitimate accident scenarios.

And on a somewhat unrelated note, does anyone have the number to a decent proctologist? I can’t get mine to answer his phone. Looking back at my last visit, I seem to remember it not going so well, but to never respond like that?

“This will be the fifth time in… three months? And this is in addition to your weekly self-prescribed colonoscopies. Mr. Wretched, I’m afraid this sort of thing is becoming more than a habit- Wait!! Is that?! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY OFFICE, NOW!!” As I painfully hobbled down the hallway, I was shocked at the unprofessional way he continued after me, lobbing expletive after heart wrenching expletive. I mean, for him to speak to me that way! I’m just trying to live a health conscious life and I get this?! I felt confused… betrayed. And on top of everything else that day, do you have any idea how hard it is to hail a taxi with chicken feathers flying out of every loose seam in your pants? I thought I’d never fucking get home!

  • 1

Oh my god!! (and I don’t even have one so maybe you’ll let me borrow yours) At this moment I have to say, I’m not sure how to go about this as the last couple of days have revealed some rather puzzling shit. I thought at first the powers that be were attempting to bridle my voice, but fortunately as it turns out this isn’t a place where shock value is a one way street. I’ve decided to be nice, none the less, as believe it or not, I subscribe to the notion that it’s best we all get along. I’d much rather drink a beer with you than to shove your unwary ass through a rusty meat grinder- (whoops, ‘scuse me; I need to be nice about this) …than to subject you to a forked tongue lashing that would make Satan himself say, “Jesus Christ, dude! Chill the fuck out!” (that’s the best I can do in terms of “nice”)

“Bring it!” you taunt. ‘Ladies and gentlemen, we are ever so fortunate to have been graced with the likes of none other than Joe Dirt himself. That’s right, Mr. “Need a match? How ‘bout my face, your ass?’- wait…” Now, allow me a moment to collect my thoughts, because, well I want to get this one right. I want everyone to come out a winner, even that one particular ALS model who unfortunately now has before her one steep hill to re-ascend. Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, note, if you will, that Joe attempts to aggrandize his challenge by tossing me a smoking hot red head expecting me to defile her like his buddy Dylan did to the formerly reigning scene queen who spent but mere moments basking in victory.

I’m actually glad things rolled out the way they did because I had both barrels locked and loaded for fuckin’ bear fully expecting you to send me a link to crackwhores.com or whatever. You blew a chance to seal the deal by showcasing the nastiest, skankiest, scab covered- well, you get the picture. My point here is, I’m able to keep the collateral damage to a minimum, but that’s how you zing a guy like me. Don’t throw out a gorgeous sacrificial lamb expecting me to rip her to shreds, what the fuck’s wrong with you? Here’s a tip: if an opponent dares you to lay your dick on the chopping block, don’t! Why, if you’re still asking? BECAUSE HE’S GONNA CHOP IT!!!

Anyway, let’s just allow this one to blow over. To be honest any retribution beyond what I’ve already amassed over this affair would amount to nothing but gluttony. And “Bring it?” For future reference, leave the “Fast and Furious” quotes for the teenagers- er, maybe I’m talking to one so, never mind. Say what you will. And when you do turn twenty one, look me up, we’ll have a beer together.

P.S. I hope like hell you don’t say stupid shit like that in public. One of these days someone’s gonna snatch you out of your fart box equipped Honda civic and crush you like a smoldering cigarette butt some crack head already picked up and got the best of then flicked into the gutter next to the convenience store where you were attempting to use your fake ID to buy liquor. Peace. (fear not, my young novice. A sharp fellow could look through this and pick out some really nice daggers to fling back at me. You can do it, I have faith in you. Worse comes to worse, ask your prom date to give it a looksee. Maybe she could offer you a few additional pointers)

  • 1

This girl didn't make it to the top because there was always some slobbering chode in the foreground. I got something for you, bro. Hope you can read better than you type.

  • 5

Sorry. I'm not going to stop complaining. When I originally subscribed to ALS, it only did solo and G/G. Had they asked me, I would have told them going to B/G was a bad idea, but they didn't (and that's fine, they own the site, not me) so from time to time I am going to mention the fact that I prefer solo and G/G to B/G. Honestly I am sorry that it bothers you, but I'm not going to shut up. I'm not going to make a crusade of it... but I'm not going to stop saying anything.

18 U.S.C. 2257 Record-Keeping Requirements Compliance Statement

Warning - This site contains adult material of a sexual nature - you must be of legal age in your area to view this material.

All materials on alsscan.com, are copyright © 2014 alsscan.com. Owned and operated by Hydentra HLP Int Limited, Karpenisiou, 9, Strovolos, 2021, Nicosia, Cyprus

All models were at least 18 years of age when photographed.